Of course you know that SCOTUS is the operative acronym for the Supreme Court of the United States as POTUS is…well you get the drift. In the last few days of the Court’s term the media and a small, elite group of supreme court watchers are ever on point on whether and how SCOTUS will rule on the cases of the day. Most of us have little idea of the actual substance of the cases and have even less understanding of the often arcane logic that is exercised in reaching their decisions. Count me as one of the non-elite, small group of Supreme Court watchers. I’ve long been fascinated by what they say and why they say it.
I’m not without some background in jurisprudence and the powers and limitations of the judicial bench. For example, I was both the captain of the McGill Elementary School Safety Patrol and duly elected president of the Student Council which also served as the honor court. I don’t know how I got to be the big cheese of the safety patrol, but I clearly remember the circumstances of my election to the student council and court. My opponent was also my female love interest of this sixth grade moment. Judy M. was smart, popular and had the support of a cabal of hard core sixth grade feminists. Fortunately for me, Judy didn’t deal well with stress and stayed home the day of the election. Sensing an opportunity, I suborned her chief supporter by promising her my support for Valentine Queen if she would swing her group to me. Of course, it worked, and you already know the results. I was able to concentrate the police power of the safety patrol and judicial bench. These same tactics have been emulated by certain South American states for decades.
Five years later, I was selected by the potentates of the local American Legion gaggle to represent my high school and community as a delegate to Iowa Boys State. Quite an honor and an opportunity for me to gain more experience in things politic. Boys State is a seven day exercise in leadership and government for selected boys. In seven days, we met, sized up one another, elected and organized a surrogate state government, and even walked in the shoes of our elected officials for a day in the capital. Being the naturally ambitious creature then that now I am I had thought to make a run for Governor of Boys State. For two days I canvased and sought to suss out the lay of the land. I wanted to find out who else might run and whether I had a chance to beat them. In my view, there was no use running if you weren’t going to win. Sadly my research helped me to determine that I had little or no chance in a run for the governorship. My opponent was the ultimate winner, an amazing african-american kid from West Waterloo. He not only was number one in academic standing in his class but had been selected as an all-state running back in his junior season. He was a really nice guy to boot. I did the smart thing and ran for and won office as Chief Justice of the State Supreme Court. By my accounting this office was the second or maybe third most important of those offices up for election, and the competition wasn’t nearly as strong. All the office required was to pose for pictures. I was ready to hear a case or two, but it wasn’t in the cards. It was my first real brush with the Supreme Court, although not at the national level.
My third and final judicial experience was during my second year in college. Perhaps based on my election success at Boys State, I decided to run for Chief Justice of the Student Court. This was the real deal. This court actually met periodically to adjudicate the rare honors violation and the more frequent disputed campus traffic tickets. I won, but almost lost. Let me explain. It was the traffic tickets that got me in trouble. One of, and maybe the only, real duty of the Chief Justice was to determine the order in which traffic ticket disputes were scheduled for hearing. It was my practice, as I think about it now, not well conceived, to defer, ad infinitum, the adjudication of parking tickets received by my fraternity brothers. It seemed then, the right thing to do considering the secret hand shake and all that. Others did not agree. A putative effort was initiated to impeach me on the basis of ticket fixing. I know. A clearly outrageous charge that I was able to beat back, but the damage was done. I did not stand for a second term.
So you can see that I clearly have judicial standing to comment on the affairs of the court. Oh, I should also say that my qualifications are not only experiential, but are also based on academic endeavor, for I did take (and pass) Dr. S’s course in Constitutional Law. I’ve no idea what possessed me to take this course which was known by all to be a grade point killer. But I did, and so did Danny B. That I was in the class was a little odd, but that Danny B was here was bizzare in extreme. Danny was a football pulling guard who wore only black chinos and black skin tight t-shirts that allowed him to display his tats at all times. He was on his second or third school at this point, and I’d be surprised if he had ever completed, much less passed more than one course per semester. I asked Danny why he took this course, and he nodded to the windows in the back of the classroom. They were the old fashioned, oversized sort that started near the floor and reached to the ceiling. Danny had somehow learned that after taking attendance, it was Dr. S’s teaching style to darken the room and show sixteen millimeter films of various Supreme Court cases. It was Danny’s idea to take advantage of the fine spring weather, open windows and dark room to escape unnoticed to greener pastures. And he did. Every day. Danny, however, forgot to take into account that sooner or later there would be exams.
As for me, I took it all in. I loved the intrigue of the cases notwithstanding the tortured logic the court often used to reach its decision. I loved them all from McCulloch v. Maryland to Korematsu v. United States. I could think of no higher goal in life than to appear before the Court arguing and winning a society changing case.
Ah, the sweet dreams of youth. So you can see that I am, indeed, well qualified to comment on the machinations of the Court. My next posting will put this experience to work by analyzing one of the many puzzles of the court.
