I’ve been ambivalent about John McCain since my host in Hanoi showed me gleefully the lake in the center of his city where dear John floated down to four years of inhuman imprisonment and a subsequent lifetime of fame.

John, now a senator and seeker after the presidency, seems less a paragon of American heroism as he ducks and bobs through the runup to the republican primaries.  I will admit that I know nothing of dear John’s spiritual life, nor do I want to inquire. If only he would keep his views private as well.

His recent interview with beliefnet.org wherein he dug a theological hole, jumped in, and then dug deeper, is a perfect example of why politicians should keep their spiritual life well separate from their political life.  He said, “…we are a nation of Judeo Christian values.  That means respect for all human rights and dignity…”.  Well enough; he’s in good company in this bit of hyperbole, but he wouldn’t leave well enough alone.  “The Constitution established America as a Christian nation”, he said digging the hole deeper.  Then responding to the understandable outrage of the American Jewish community who was reported to be “deeply troubled” by this pronouncement, he went on to explain,” what I do mean to say is the United States of America was founded on Judeo Christian Values (JCV’s) which was translated by our founding fathers (none of whom were Jewish and precious few who were even trinitarian christians) which is basically the rights  of human dignity and human rights”.  Huh?????  Whadhesay????

Okay John, I know you took civics at some point in your formative years, and surely you remember the fact that the United States Constitution is the most secular of all government documents.  Not only does it not mention JCV’s, it doesn’t even mention god.  So perhaps you were confused.  Maybe you meant the Declaration of Independence which is often cited as proof positive of your basic assertion.  I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

It’s interesting to note that those who would offer the writings of the DOI in support of the notion that the founding fathers intended us to be a “christian nation”, are most often extremely selective in the passages they cite and the interpretations given.  For example, they tend to skip the 1st paragraph wherein both the “laws of nature” and “nature’s god” are invoked and proceed forthwith to paragraph two for their logical imperative.  “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights….”.  What is selectively withheld is the next sentence which goes on to say, “That to secure these rights governments are initiated among men (not god), deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed”.  Sounds like to me the old fellows were pretty sure that the rights of man were assured by governments established by man not deities of any stripe.

l realize that it’s probably a negative sum game to argue the philological intentions of the drafters of a document over 200 years old, but I must offer the further words of the principle drafter of the DOI as additional insight.  Jefferson wrote to his long time friend and confident, Dr. Woods, “I have recently been examining all known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition, christianity, one redeeming feature.  They are all alike, founded upon fables and mythology”.

My favorite curmudgeon, H.L. Menken, advises me that, “people are so psychologically dependent upon the comfort their religion provides that no amount of proof of the falsity of their beliefs will have the slightest influence upon them.”  So my hopes are low that I will be able to convince you or the world at large that it is “human values” not “christian values” that provide the foundation of our government and a civil society, and that christian values, as they have come to be defined, aren’t unique and other renditions of the same thoughts pre-existed christ by a half a millennium or more.  Nevertheless, I’ll give it a poke or two.

Most christian moralists point to the stone tablets and their pronouncements  presumably from god thereon that Moses lugged down from the mountain as the source of “JCV’s” as we know them.  Once again, using these particular ten laws in lieu of the hundreds of others that don’t sound quite so good, shows some disingenuity, but lay that aside.  Certainly there are those in the body politic of the United States that place inordinate value on the big ten and want them displayed every place the eye might wander.  I guess they’re afraid they might otherwise be forgotten.

As it turns out there are actually two sets of ten commandments, but some renderings could even get eleven out of them.  Nevertheless, I’d call it a pick ‘em between Exodus chapter twenty and Deuteronomy chapter five as there is little difference.  In both, the first five deal with god his own self telling us among other things not to profane his name and to keep the sabbath.  He also shows more than a little jealousy warning us against graven images and holding us to only one god at a time.

The next five is where the action is values wise.  Here they are in no particular order:  don’t kill folks, don’t steal, don’t do the dirty deed with other than your wife, be nice to your mom and pop, and don’t lie.  There’s also some stuff that you shouldn’t covet, but I can’t figure exactly how that fits in the the “big 10”.  You must admit though that if this is the best that god and Moses could do, they ought not expect folks to go around founding their countries on it.  Personally, I’d like to have seen some sort of prohibition against enslaving people or dropping atomic bombs on one another.

Not surprisingly only modest investigation can turn up civilizations long before christ, and Moses, that embraced pretty much the same values.  If I were going to found a new country and wanted to find a statement of values that would provide the best moral platform, I would look no further than my new best friend, Mahavira, the patriarch  of the Jains who wrote about 600 years before the birth of christ:  “do not injure, abuse, oppress, enslave, insult, torment, torture, or kill any creature or living being.”  Frankly, I wouldn’t mind having that carved in granite on every courthouse square in America.