Televised political debates are an artificial medium, but they are designed for artificial people, and it works…after a fashion
If I could emulate the primal scream that ran Howard Dean out of the Democratic primary last time around, I would. I can’t stand it any more. I know it’s not smart to talk about politics in polite company, but I just can’t stop myself. I watched the GOP primary debates for the same reason that a moth is attracted to light. I did it even though I knew it would cause me great mental anguish. Two thoughts assaulted me as I watched the other night: 1) This is the best we have to offer? In a country of three hundred million, half of which are of the republican persuasion…this is our best? Yikes! 2) Has any of this gaggle ever had an original thought…about anything? If it weren’t for sound bites concocted by some media/political specialist in the back room, they wouldn’t have anything to say.
Ok. I’m willing to admit that under similar circumstances the other side, the dreaded socialist leaning, free market bashing, soft-headed liberal weirdos of the Democratic party probably would come up with a similar group. I don’t think they would be quite so mean spirited, but they would be every bit as disingenuous. I’m coming closer and closer to adopting the manichean philosophy of suggesting that one should never listen to, much less vote for, anyone who wants to be elected.
Gail Collins in her column in the left leaning, main stream press rag, The New York Times, suggested that the event seemed more of a wrestling match than a debate. She opined that the only difference was that the participants were all wearing suits. I would add that it was more like an episode of WWF (World Wrestling Federation for those of you who are not culturally au courant) except that they were all old, rich, white guys wearing suites except for Herman (the Herminator) Cain who is an old, rich, black guy wearing a suit trying to act like to act like an old, rich, white…you get the picture. Oh, I forgot Miiichele. She fits the wrestling analogy in that she’s clearly demonstrated a willingness to get down in the mud (as in mud wrestling, don’t you see) with the best (or the worst) of them. At least she has the virtue of absolute consistency. Nothing, and I mean nothing, she ever says ever makes any sense. To wit: She suggested that Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan turned upside would then be 6-6-6, which as we all know is the sign of Satan. Huh? Did she think of that herself?
As to Governors Romney and Perry sniping at one another, I could not help but think of two kindergartners saying, “Can too…can not, can too, can not…nah, nah, nah. My daddy’s bigger than your daddy. Wah, wah, wah, you got my space , etc, etc, etc. Even this was better than Rick (The Sanitorium) Santorum pleading with Anderson Cooper with his hand up saying Oh, oh, oh, he’s taking my time. Make him stop it! Which even tops Miichele and her, “I’m a mother…and all these nasty foreclosures are taking our nests”. Taking our nests? Are you kidding me? Talk to your man Romney who just espoused the free market-at-any-cost solution to the foreclosure mess by advocating the more sophisticated, main stream conservative solution of, “let them twist in the wind”, or words to that effect. Or is it “let them eat cake?”
I must give The Newtster some air time as well. At least he’s clever. Although as he himself has said, “I’ve never had an idea I didn’t like”. I don’t know the Newt, but I have a friend who worked for him briefly, and he confirms the popular opinion that Newt has a little problem with follow through. No one would ever accuse Newt of being too consistent. Does he actually imbed razor blades in his tongue?
As for Ron Paul….enough said.
But back to the most interesting story line. The Herminator. A black man running for president as a repub is interesting enough, but a black man who’s never been elected to anything running for president (and leading many of the polls) is a story to reckon with. And what’s with his Uz-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan stuff. I thought we had bottomed out in geo-political ignorance when we elected W who had never even had a passport before he ran for president. Now we have someone leading the GOP polls who delights in demonstrating his ignorance of things international. A brief side bar: Who’s the last, and only, president who was elected never having run for public office before being elected president? You guessed it. Ike. Ike, of course, had the benefit of winning a war. The Herminator, on the other hand, only came in third in the pizza wars. He was a burger man though, and no one should ever underestimate a man who knows how to wield a spatula.
Who knows how it will all turn out. All I will say is that watching the nth debate of the GOP field filled me with an intense desire to make my next gin and tonic a little stronger.
